Before you begin the dating process, it’s important to understand your Relationship Market Value (RMV). Your RMV helps you determine three things:
(1) the characteristics that you bring to a relationship that can be of value or benefit to a mate;
(2) what type of guys you can attract so that you can focus your efforts on finding that type of man; and
(3) if you are ready for a relationship. When determining your Relationship Market Value, you take a close look at your mental/emotional health, financial health, family relationships and other areas of your life, and discover if you are really ready for a relationship.
You determine your RMV by looking at the positive traits that you bring to the table that add value to the relationship, while evaluating the negative ones as well-those that may take something away or create challenges in a relationship. Determining your value is about being realistic regarding what you will be bringing into a relationship. Sometimes people are frustrated in relationships because they are always dating people who are not in their lane or out of their league. If you are constantly frustrated or getting rejected, evaluate your RMV and be honest with yourself.
Don’t always try to be a romantic overachiever and then ask why you can never find a man. If you have some real negative traits, such as being broke or having eight children, those things are not going to be perceived positively by a lot of men. One of my negative traits, gambling, probably rules out the possibility of me marrying a pastor. (But I enjoy gambling.) It is important to know your strengths and build upon them so that you can differentiate yourself from other women. If you are funny, be the funniest, wittiest woman in the room. If you are pretty, smile and be proud to be the most attractive woman in the room.
In my book, I provide an exercise that allows you to rank your positive traits so that you can attract the type of man who would value the best in you. A brief summary of the RMV assessment areas are listed below:
o Physical Appearance/Your Looks – Assess how attractive or pretty you are (as others see you) considering both your facial features and body/figure
o Career or Job Stability – Evaluate the degree of success in your career or job
o Spiritual/Emotional/ Mental Stability: Evaluate if you are emotionally stable person, which strong values and beliefs that guide your day-to-day life
o Financial Stability – Determine if you are financially stable with savings, investments and good credit
o Personality/ Interpersonal Skills – Assess if you have interesting things in life to share or talk about and if people are interested in spending time with you
o Family Relationships – Assess if you have strong family ties or are all of your current family relationships dysfunctional
o Education/Training – Evaluate the quality of your education
o Social or Celebrity Status – Determine how well connected you are with “high society” folks, elite country clubs or celebrity events
Once you completed your RMV assessment, you will have better clarity on the type of guys you can attract based upon your positive traits. You can begin to focus your efforts on finding the type of man that will value your positive traits. This will not just be any man, but the right man for you.